Follow by Email

Wednesday, 29 March 2017

Lance Formaggioso

b  26.10.1654

d  17.01.1720

In 1717, Lance Formaggioso became the first epidemiologist to work out
the link between mosquitoes and malaria .
Given that Lance's middle name was Maria  - a cheesy girl's name
that made him see red -  and that he was commonly known as  La Maria -
it was an obvious leap from there to the study of  MaLaria
( and the  'little fellas' )
It was a less obvious leap for him to celebrate his discovery of the
malaria - Culicidae  connection with an alfresco, candlelit dinner for thousands 
on a clammy, summer's evening in the Mantuan swamplands.
He died just two short years later.


b  sumtyme in the futurpassd

d  ! LOL

In ?1717/1718?  Nostlikeymen acheved infamie inn  The Candelabra Scandal
( a.k.a  The Scandelabra ) ,  inn inncidents innvolving Susan Giro'
(amongste otheres) at  NewYearesLoste&FoundlingeBash  at The Pieta, 
Venice Northewater. 
In ?2016/2017?, in TheDiscombobulationOfKelostemyInn,  He achieve
further infamy, in incidents involving Susan Giro' (amongst others),
forewhiche he know much more than he be prepared to foretell.
Now as before (probably), the prophetNostlikeymen can go(e) by other names
such(e) as Tynkelmonies

Susan Giro'  ( Susan G )

b  16 ??

d  ????

spectre,spook,supernatural,seraph,sprite,sprightliness,sparklehorse,scenesteeler,stirrer,striving stuff,stunt,spunk,stoutheart,substance(or lack of it)

1717 :  Windowe Childe  /  Anna Giro''s  'systa'

2017 :  Wind Girl         /    Kolee ?Ynnit's 'sista'

Monday, 27 March 2017

                               A list visitors to Susan ?Ynnit's bedside  
                               in no especial order :

                               Ey-list Ennkom
                          Sleenky Itomn  
                      Setynmone Lik
                                  Moe Litenskyn
                                   Emo Li(y)tensky(i)n
                               Sikment Loyne (prof.)
                                 Sonik E.Lyment  
                                      Kloset Minney 
                                      Sokey M'Linnet
                                       Yekil Monnste 
                                 Leo/Ole Nitemynks
                               Steemin Onkyl                                    
                         Monty ( Le) Sinke     
                             Klyemin Stone
                          Melonny  Tikes
                                        Tynkelmonies / Nostlikeymen
                          Kolee ?Ynnit (ms.)

                                 characters appearing in  THE FOUR SUSANS   story


  Antonio Vivaldi
  Anna Giro'
  Susan Giro'

  Lance Formaggioso (peripheral to the circular story )



  Wayne Wax
  Kolee Wax
  Kolee ?Ynnit(ms)
  Susan ?Ynnit
  Susan Tinny
  Sikemnt Loyne(prof)
  Susan Giro'
  RhineRik Baumeister (1917-2017+)
                      ( peripheral to the circular story  butt
                        central to the circular construction 
                        of The Discombobulation of KelostemyInn /
                           (the)GrandSerenity / SerenitySolutions)

  an array of hospital visitors
  none of which are called ray  
                      ( peripheral to the circular story  and
                        peripheral to Susan ?Ynnit's bed )


Dear Kolee/Sikment/Sonik   etal.

Here, as promised,  the first of  my notes 
to help in the construction of your inspirational work.

!Better late than dead  ?eh


                               NEW YEAR  2017   
       Gift List

 Piled on the gifts' table in South corner of Susan ?Ynnit's hospital room
 are the following items :

   A half-empty bottle of Prosecco
    Lance Formaggioso      ( circled 1717 )

   A bag of melons

   The Sol Kitenmyne Anthology: IN HIS OWN WARTS  /  
                                           CLIMBING  Mt. HAIKU
                                     Klyemin Tones  pub. /  Kitenmyne  ed.

   A torn copy of  The Ragged-Trousered Planner's Pissed  
                                           Tressell / Baumeister 

   An O/S map of  The Venice-Mantua Trench Farago    
                            RhineRik Baumesiter   ed.   ( circled 1917 )

   FLOORED  SUSAN  : An anonymous diary, dated 1717,  
                     detailing a personal life led 
                     in&around Venice&Mantua 
                     &withe&about the composer Antonio Vivaldi.

   A pictorial document (signed by RR Baumeister)/(apparently)
   of the construction of  The-Discombobulation-of-KelostemyInn 
   in 1917, up to its completion date any-time-soon.
   Note : The document's dustcover has been vandalised in order to
          hide the document's title, which appears in big letters
          on the book itself :  ! THAT'S SO LAST CENTURY  ffs


Saturday, 11 March 2017

(skittin' on)
             THE  DOCK  OF  THE  BRAE

                         by Otis Mykennel

      Here's another number for ya ! yer stupidfukkers: 

When Nostlikeymen got up a head of steam and exclaimed to an obliferous audience  

the 11th  Key Number  ( 69 )   of  seventeen supposed KeyNumbers, we are left to consider the relevance of such numbers.
Well, let's start with number  69  shall we ?!  and why ever not:

The unfolding story of TheGiroSisters (Susan/Anna), Tony Vivaldi, Sikment Loyne, 
Kolee ?Ynnit(ms), Susan ?Ynnit (Kolee's daughter), Wayne (Kolee's ex ), 
Nostlikeymen (tosomeextent), take place, essentially, over two distinct, calendar years
separated by three stinking centuries : 2017  &  1717
Within the calendar year of 2017 - and 1717 too ?!who knows - there are 64  Key Dates, as we now understand. In 2016, the prelewd to events of 2017, there are a further FOUR Key Dates of which we need to take note : August 7 (NationalSistersDay); 
December 7 (Kolee&SikDay); December 31/January1/2017 ( Susan ?Ynnit's last days.)
And there be one extra, as yet undisclosed, KeyDate which happen in 2018, the postlewd 
to events of 2017.
All of which add up (of course) to   69.
The  11th  Key Number.
As previous disgust.

                                            KEY  NUMBERS   12 & 13




Tuesday   March 14    2017    -      Daze 13      ( of  TheKeyDates )

                        THE   TEN   COMMANDS       ! MEANT

                        when  prophetNostlikeymen  exclaim the   17  KeyNumbers
                        and Kolee ?Ynnit (Ms.)  give  the  docks   a   wide     berth

                      ! 4    5        7           8                17      20      
                     64          68            432        440        !

                                                !  !    NOST  LI  KEY  MEN       U  said    17
                                                theres   only          10                             f  f  s

                                           !  ?   Who's   the   fuckin'  Prophet    here  Kolee    eh
                                                   Who's   the   fuckin'  Prophet                           ?


                 !TOP O' THE MORNIN' TO YERS  ! IRELAND
                                                                                                      Oley Me'Tinnks


                              !  Top o' the mornin' to yers   ! Ireland


                                          Oley Me'Tinnks

MARCH 9 :  KEY DATE  no.12   OF THE 64 KEY DATES OF 2017


The Professor  (Sikment Loyne)  found himself   still    in the  bath  (again)   with the
prophetNostlikeymen for company this time.
It was now March 9, the  12th Key Date of 2017,  and the bathwater was  at worst    tepid
or   at best    fetid.
The mail conversations being had by Loyne, ?Ynnit(ms.)(Kolee)  ( & the prophetNostlikeymen)
had lingered around  german umpah   longer than jurgenKlinsman  in a hofbrauhaus
and was now moving into a tepid-fetid phase.

 ?Y :   the spring eggnogs   juss round the corner Sik

   L : 

 ?Y :   first daze of Spring innit

   L :   Aaah  !   You mean the  EQUINOX,  I fear,   dear-sweet Kol

 ?Y :   you aint enjoyed my springtime sloshmix  obviusly then  Sik 

   L :  !mmmH(m)m   
          What with it being  KeyDate12  today  and  with the  'Eggnogs'   coming upon us
          it's high time we get your story, our story, out there, what's happened so far, what's to come 
          in the future  etc., the story, Kolee,  beginning to end   so-to-speak:  January to December  
          essentially     2017     1717    To make it intelligible  to the diligent;   access  before excess, K,             always

?Y :

  L :  That's why we have  the prophetNostlikeymen to help in this regard.  The All-Seer.  
         My god!woman  the Man know everything.   Extraordinary as this may sound,
         He can even foretell when he's about to   'release'   in the bath,  so that one can  take           
                       evasive           act               ion                      !            Hmm!mmM

Friday, 3 March 2017

     MARCH 4th  2017  :     DAY 11  of  64 KEY DATES      literally writ in stone

( and ) where Kolee ?Ynnit(ms) find herself at the docks ( again)
                                  only to be told by Justice Beak to   getthefuckoutta(t)here  
                                                                                                         before he bang her in the can     ( again  )


 On  Day-11-of-the-64-Key-Dates-of-2017  Professor Sikment Loyne found himself 

in the bathtub with, for company, just a well-known/popular, organisational bath sponge, 
and a not-quite-so-well-known/less popular laptop.
Having a sponge-askance laptop in the bath powered via an extension cable might not have been the professor's soundest idea ever butt then, as he was often heard to say, an electrically-driven bath IS, for want of a better experiment, all it's crack(l)ed up to be.         ! Lol     ?
Loyne could have contacted her (Kolee?Ynnit(ms.)((of course)) ) by mobile phone. 
Except for the nosmallmatter that Loyne for ever refused to carry one - ?remember - 
and ?Ynnit's was still in the inquisitive hands of the police - ??remember
So when Sikment's soaksnooze was suddenly arrested by a sultry German Oompah ringtone, the professor was as startled as anyone, conveying this surprise to Kolee, naturally,  
firstly via a pre-flurry of flowery farrago, furthering to a fuller flurry of fosphorescent fandango.

Ms ?Ynnit's initial mailed response to Prof. Loyne pretty muche hit the nail on the head 

( in a conducive2earlymorningyogakindaway ); it was as enigmatic as it was electric :

              ? WTF  !   U dreem abut   german-umpah  2 **    f f s   !?

setting the tone   and the scene    for subsequent   succinctnailheading     pretty muche

               ! im  goin'   to   see wayne sleep   soon   actualy


              shows u wot u know  then    prof    innit  !



Thursday, 2 March 2017

                      SUSAN SARONG

    In  a  tyme  so  long  ago
                 she  carry/ied  the  can,
                                       nourishing  stories:

                             A  life  different/diffident;
                    pleasures  drawn  from  darkest  well.
         ! O(h)  suche  webs  we  weave
   when  we  practice.  Then, 
                    deceived, wi(n)dow child weep  (!?)but(t)
                                will  fatal  theories.

       Under  sheltering 
            sky/ies     love  freeze, storm-whipped  in  these
                                   strange, embittered  tomes.

  Sisters  testify,
      wired  to  the  prophet  sign :
                           No  more  tiffs    !   or  butts
          Women  suffer  then.
                         Men  must  suffer  too ! So there
                                             g(l)ory - gloria

                  KILENNY TOMES

                                                ENO & BON(e)O MkSLITENY
                                 JEFFRY ?HOW(e)
                                            MONK 'n SLIT-EYE

                                                           KONTES LEMINY

    The Four Susans
                         Susan Sarongdon
                         Susan Danyboil
                         Susan Boy George
                         Susan Humpsheer


Sunday, 26 February 2017

                                                                                                                 FEB 25  '16  
                                                                                                               Day 10    of  64

                                                                       RUTTING TOMATOES  

  Kolee ?Ynnit(ms)  &  Sikment Loyne(prof)  review  The Danish Girl

    When I watched  The Danish Girl,  I blubbered like a baby at that acceptance of                     difference  shared by the DG and 'his'  beautiful wife.  
    !How different to when I caught my partner Wayne in my pantyhose. 
    It turned out that he (Wayne) had a special 'zing' for wearing ladies' stockings, 
    going way back when, and not just when he was on jobs either.   
    To put it bluntly, issues of sexual contusion, paw sylph image perhaps, 
    fagmented personality to boot, what with all the joints he'd done.   
    And laddered tights really turned him on, y'know.  !Well that's why he was a roofer
    However, the times I actually saw him wearing my underwear, I didn't get the glossy 
    smile, the dewy eyes, the flick of the hair so resonant of the DanishGirl.   
    No ! All I got was  Pastry Boy,  as Wayne was to become known in our weird world. 
    You see, he'd punish me for catching him in my clothes by giving his 'patsy' a proper 
    'going over', a thorough pasting if you like,  Then he'd go out and buy a big bag of 
    stickly sweetcakes to get me to shutthefukup.     
    Of course it's not beyond the bounds of possibility that through the so-called corrective 
    unconscious these filmmakers were receiving 'clips' of me having my lights punched out       by PastryBoy  and this gave them the idea to dream up the story of  The Danish Girl.
    Now wouldn't? that be a turn up for the books
                                                                                                                       K ?Y(ms)


  Watched  The Danish Girl.
  Tried to stick penis twixt legs.
  Couldn't locate.

     SL (prof)




Friday, 24 February 2017

  FEB 20   '17   :      Day 9  of  64


    K ?Y(ms) : !oy  sik   innit  ?what was it u said  about the reel meenin of educashion   
                       when we were talkin onyt       somethin in its  favour  ?!werent it     !

      SL(prof) :  Well, at its core, in its most positive Latin root,  it means   to lead out 
                        Butt careful!,  Kol,  that's   educere   NOT    educare

               ?Y :                                                O rite    and so that refer to the teachas     yeah?  !              

                 L :                                                Not really !no,  well  yes   I  . .   suppose  .     .   
                         ! (H)mmm    However there is a general rule here, Kol, which is this: 
                         Grammatically, one thinks  CARE  rather than  CAR.                          

               ?Y :  So like with prem footballers  yer dont  buy the spoilt brats  feraris
                        but show 'em propa care, teach 'em  how to care,  propa  like

                        O  and  !yeah!  rite   butt   lead out    that also meen    eskort off the premeses    
                        duntit   !  ?

                 L :

               ?Y :  cuzz i tell ya  wy4 askin'      iv bin reedin abut all the shenazzigoons down at the                             local  comp    an it seems  the hole staff praktikly are bein  escorted off   .   .
                        bein'  'lead out'   of school    by the police  &  by the headman  who used2be
                        a copper hisself  wtf     ffs    ?just wots goinon these dayz   sik   ? !  dya  know

                 L :  Well, Kolee, in a nutshell:  The nutjobs sluiced their way into the very fabric of                             real education by decreeing that teachers could no longer pecan choose the form 
                        & content of their lessons. So, in an era of class disturbance, one was met with                               Mags'  EducationalReformAct,  which - Tories being Tories -  got mistook for                                   Educational Reform School.  wherein the  NationalCurriculum  be interpreted 
                        as National Correction, 
                        And, once the Lead Ofsted Inspector, Kris Metalhead,  declare that true                                         comprehensiveness only exist in schools south of Brighton,  that solid                                               woodworking be the benchmark of a progressive state, and that the art 
                        of cider-making be elevated to core subject status,  we're all on that rickety road 
                        to ruin. 
                        Butt ?how to repair a rickety road to ruin?! ?eh Kolee
                                                                                        well you call in the forces of   law'n order
                                                                                                                                     !dunchya   ?
                        To straiten things aht.   To straiten everyone aht.
                        And guess wh'appen to those who dunt wanna be  straitened aht  

              ?Y :                            they get shot

                L :   Well   not straight away maybe . .. .  !Oh I see  hm(M)m  how drole !   
                        Yes, they do indeed get shot  -  of the rads & reds   mmm   those radicals,                                       redoubtables, 'escorted off the premises'  if you like,  
                        led out   as you quite rightly say.

              ?Y :  so thats the reeson that offsted  become the fukoffsted then  ?                !

                L :  In a manner of speaking.

              ?Y :  Swot appen2  wayne  y'lnow.  he got told to fukoff.  sted of wastin everybodz time

                L :

              ?Y :  yeh - wayneykunt   !y'know   my . .  well,  you know 
                       fukker aplied for  job as  school caretaker  
                       at that local comp  innit    did not get it  mind  cuz  he spell like shit

                 L :  Always good not to bring such noble work into disrepute by taking on wretches                            like him.

              ?Y :  well  yeah  u say that    still they askd him if he were prepred to lower is sites
                       And aply for one of the many teachin posts there were   
                       and if that went tits up

                 L :           Hmm(M) !   If all else fail,  then a senior management role, naturally.
                                                               LULL               Or Ofsted,  if one is really scraping the barrel.
                                                      Though  no  mention of   T.A.  of course

                 ?Y :        !mm(M)m
                                 LOL    nah                Gratitude was rather thin on the ground that day .
                                                                  (In a manner of speaking.)